Journey

I recently heard someone state that life is a journey, not to a destination, but a transformation.  This quote really stuck with me this week.  I think that we are always on the go in world...always moving to the next thing.  My life's journey has not ended up(destination) exactly where I thought it would go.  I feel like I'm almost there but there is one BIG thing missing in my life.  Whether or not this whole baby thing happens is one thing.  But the struggle is trying to figure out where to go from here. 
The answer that I have come up with is nowhere.  The best place to be is in the present moment.  Enjoy this time with my wife, my job, family, and friends.  I need to stop living in the future and focusing on what I want and don't have.  I need to live in the now and what I do have.  Some days this is easy, some days this seems impossible.
But just like at the beginning of this entry I need to let life transform me into someone better than I was yesterday.  I don't always like who I am each day.  Some days bitter, some days angry, some days envious, and .....well I think you get the point.  It is on those days I am focusing on the destination....Fatherhood. 

Dear Bryce/Cami,
Now as of right now these are the names that we would have for you pending your gender.  Not sure if these will change(they probably will).  Honestly, today hasn't been a great day of living in the present. A lot of times today I thought man...if things had gone to plan we would be planning your 4th birthday party with in the next year.  I think about teaching you how to shoot baskets, throw a ball, get excited when you learn something new.  I wish I was tripping over your toys that you leave around the house.  I'm sure that I would get a little upset...but right now that would make me so happy.  The pain that I would feel momentarily would be nothing compared to the pain I have right now without you in my life. 

Miss you

DAD